collapse

 
 
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Join our group

Recent Forum Topics

For Sale: 2013 BMW F800GS F/lift by Jacobsroodt
[Yesterday at 02:08:52 PM]


Blind spot vision by Jacobsroodt
[Yesterday at 01:55:07 PM]


BMW R1200GS Rallye and BoosterPlug by Jacobsroodt
[Yesterday at 01:37:19 PM]


Thunder City by tok-tokkie
[Yesterday at 09:28:43 AM]


ADVTracks: GPX sharing website and community by MrDonas
[Yesterday at 08:44:47 AM]


KTM launch by Dual
[Yesterday at 06:59:27 AM]


Neutral selection light by Tony
[April 27, 2017, 08:48:02 AM]


Problems experienced with R1200GS - LC by Aquila
[April 26, 2017, 06:08:03 PM]


Show Us Your Workshop by Jughead
[April 26, 2017, 05:43:15 PM]


FOR SALE -'98 R1100GS by Jughead
[April 26, 2017, 03:22:25 PM]

* Recent Blog Posts

4 Blogs, 68 Articles
Latest articles:

[April 24, 2017, 02:39:56 AM]

[April 24, 2017, 02:32:47 AM]

[April 24, 2017, 02:22:37 AM]

[April 24, 2017, 02:15:39 AM]

[April 24, 2017, 02:10:36 AM]

Author Topic: Emily  (Read 185 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline fastfish

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Location: Polokwane
Emily
« on: April 11, 2017, 01:04:08 PM »
OK Chappies, I am going to tell you about Emily. If this is in the wrong section ... move it ... if it is rubbish delete it.
A bit of background first. Among'st others I own a 1150 GS. The greatest bike ever made. Period not a comma PERIOD. I have had an itchy for a while around a 1150GS adventure. Being a poor bastard ( I have kids ) I decided that my way to scratch this itchy was to build one from spares. So I did what any good hoarder does and started accumulating a whole bunch of stuff. Madam died a few years back and my daughter in law decided that I could not be trusted on my own so my son was told he is moving.....in with me. So now order reigned supreme once more. This daughter has no respect for age and wisdom. She somer calls it '' bloody old fool '' syndrome. So my project was chucked out the sitting room where I was happily busy working. So that came  to an end.
One fine day I was slyping around the dorp minding everybody else's business when I decided to go and bum a cup of coffee at a bike shop in the town. I ambled through the door and was soon praating kak with the owner while slurping coffee and munching on a marie biscuit.
Next minute the owner reckons I must come and listen to "this". Now I am curious. I follow him outside and there she is. A tattered beat up broken down lady but her class still shone through. Anyway said shop owner puts in the key and starts her up. It sounded like someone was trying to escape from inside that motor. I am told the crank is gone. Moer toe. Mmmmmmmmm. Noise doesn't sound like its in the bottom. The shop owner tells me he has quoted 25 grand to fix it. The owner of the bike does not have money or a job. REALLY ???????????????????
Soon got his number and after a bit of bickering, screaming and shouting back and forth I bought the Lady for 20 grand. JIPPEE JAYOO. I have an 1150 GS adventure.
Now Clown (my son) has a fair bit of enthusiasm a lot of knowledge and a great deal of respect for Wombat (daughter in law).
" What have you two morons done now"
" Bought this BM"
Silence. Great Silence and the look.


That's enough for now. You will have to wait to hear what was bust if you want me to continue with this story.




Offline adventurer

  • Global Moderator
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2888
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
  • Location: Alberton JHB
Re: Emily
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2017, 01:23:04 PM »
Haha, cool story, keep going, looking forward to the rest....I used to have an 1150 GSA, best bike BMW ever built IMO... :sip: :thumbsup: :cool: :ricky:

Offline meurig

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 329
  • Bike: BMW F800GS Adventure
  • Location: Somerset West
Re: Emily
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2017, 06:13:36 PM »
Nice build up.....

Offline fastfish

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Location: Polokwane
Re: Emily
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2017, 02:52:45 PM »
Ok where was I. Oh yes cowering behind the clown to evade that look. Oh well I am better off than he is. I am a widower so no hot tongue cold bum for me.
Now every lady has to have a name and this one is no different. Emily a lovely name...... so alluring.
When I got Emily home I took off the right hand side tappet cover but I was not expecting anything there. I was right all seemed in good order. Off with the left cover. Aha where are they. Get a big torch and peer into the dark recesses. Nope is gone. Clown reckons we are just buggering around and off with the head. Nope they gone. No slippers for the cam chain tensioner to operate on. Fish around in the dark recesses of Emily's motor. Jip start pulling out pieces. What to do? I have a broken motor lying here and after examination we decide we are going to try and replace these slippers without splitting the motor.
Cant be done you say. It can. Clown has infinite patience and a lot of determination. His Ma taught him well. I am of the " bigger the problem bigger the hammer " school of engineering. Off with the rear wheel diff and swing arm. Loosen all the rest off and lift the sub frame out of the way. Out with the gearbox. Clutch plate looks like my last girlfriend. Not many teeth and the lining moer toe. Input shaft also not so good. Ok we not going to fix that till we have proved this motor can work. Into the shed and start hurling boxes around all the while cursing and swearing. Aha spare slippers for the motor. Aha another clutch plate. Like my daughter in law this one lots of sharp teeth and plenty lining. The one slipper's pin resides under the gearbox and the other one if I remember correctly behind the flywheel. After a moer of a lot of sukkeling Clown managed to fit new slippers. It was a kak job but we  succeeded. We started this job on Saturday afternoon and all was done by Sunday at two P.M. Righto. Turn key put cotton wool in ears press starter button wait for bang. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr perfect. Twenty grand some parts bought in the distant past and Clown and we have Emily. That motor sounded good.
Next episode red to red white to white and ooooooooo fok WIRING
 

Offline OomD

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 146
    • CANSwitch
  • Bike: BMW R1200GSA
  • Location: Centurion
Re: Emily
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2017, 06:44:43 AM »
Love this! And loved the clutchplate analogy!  :grin:

Please explain to a dumb person, what are slippers?

Offline fastfish

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Location: Polokwane
Re: Emily
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2017, 07:44:27 AM »
The black plastic guides for the cam chain. The tensioner pushes against one.

Offline OomD

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 146
    • CANSwitch
  • Bike: BMW R1200GSA
  • Location: Centurion
Re: Emily
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2017, 08:22:57 AM »
The black plastic guides for the cam chain. The tensioner pushes against one.
:thumbsup:

Offline fastfish

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Location: Polokwane
Re: Emily
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2017, 01:26:43 PM »
So more misery and mayhem............. Emily came to me with H I D lights and a tank bag with a power socket in it. Lekker so now I can see the donkey I am going to hit and I will be able to keep my phone charged so when I have straffed this bongol (donkey) I will be able to phone for an ambulance. However these H I D lights come with a box for each one filled with smoke. Yebo smoke. When the smoke escapes they cease to work. Unfortunately the smoke is a one time thing. No one can put it back, least of all me. The wiring for all these smoxes (smoke boxes) looks like Fifi se gat. Clown does not do wiring. Not at all. So my problem. Hokay. Soldering iron heat shrink solder and calmets and we start. Take it all out make up new plugs new harness and connect it all up. Chappies have you ever seen how that H I D shit gooies a spark. One almighty crack later en daar kak alles. Go to town and get some heavy duty connectors and some other funny looking draad and heatshrink that needs a blowtorch to shrink it and success. Instead of draad all over and cable tyes holding it all together now all ancillary wires are fitted into the area where the abs used to be together with fuses and relays etc. Nice and tidy and I can SEE at night. Bongol ek watch jou. Next removing ABS. Gear down gear down apply brakes OOOOOOOOOOOO FOK.

Offline MrBig

  • Administrator
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3243
    • Roam Africa
  • Bike: Triumph Tiger 955i
  • Location: Stellenbosch
Re: Emily
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2017, 02:38:43 PM »
Quote
However these H I D lights come with a box for each one filled with smoke


 :ImaPoser: :ImaPoser:

Offline fastfish

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Location: Polokwane
Re: Emily
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2017, 07:18:11 PM »
So where were we........... about to straf the bogol. The brakes on Emily had been disconnected from the A B S smox but the smox was still connected. So A B S lights flashing pumps whining and rider using bad words was what bongol heard approaching. This is not acceptable. So strip this smox and clean out all the valves and whatever else I can get to. Clown walks past takes one look at this and wanders off shaking his head and looking mighty worried. Tsek man I was fixing bikes before you were born. After I had cleaned out everything I could get to I reconnected everything and lo and behold it was still moer toe. Hey clown come here. Tsek man you were fixing bikes before I was born. Bastid. To hell with this German kak. Remove the this A B S smox pretty damn quick. Dont need A B S I grew up riding Nortons and BSAs and those things had really kak brakes. I mean BSA stood for Bloody Shit Article didn't it. Right problem solved. Not quite brake light doesn't work. The brake switch on the ABS model operates the A B S which then operates the brake light. The switches also work backwards so if you try and connect them direct the brake light switches off when you trap briek. Eish boetie this kak is complicated.  But I have been fixing bikes since before clown was born.
 
Anyway go scratch on You Tube the font of all knowledge. There I discover the teachings of the Guru of all things BMW. Numzaan Ichrisi Harrisi. Now this oke explains what wires to join and how to switch the brake lights through a relay using the relay as the switch. So plenty cutting soldering heatshrinking and swearing later we have completed the job. Switch on and try. Numzaan Ichrisi Harrisi you should buy a house in Proes Straat in Pretoria. Dont bleddy work. Ag poofies or words to that effect. Now sit and think. I understand the concept of using a relay in place of the A B S. Remember I was fixing bikes since before clown was born. After a bit of buggering around I eventually worked it out. I have attached a picture of Emily how she is now . I hope its right and works.

Tags: